Sunday, January 8, 2012


Last summer I spent 3 amazing weeks traveling to Mwandi, Zambia, a small village of 10,000 in Africa.  That experience taught me so much about God, myself, my church and community and my husband.  It taught me to trust in God's provisions and strengthened my faith in many ways. 

So this summer Forbes and I are excited to once again travel to Mwandi.  We are even looking at opportunities to stay for a longer period of time.  Ideally 6 weeks.  We know that serving as missionaries is our purpose as Christians.  We go because God sends us.  He created us to be His hands and feet and love others as He first loved us.  However, I would be lying if I didn't mention that I feel selfish in wanting to go. 

When I'm in Africa and planning to leave, I don't have to rely on my own human abilities to "get the job done."  There is so much comfort in casting my cares aside, and trusting God fully to provide for every need.  While I learned this lesson of submission in preparing for Mwandi last year, I'm not sure that I fully continue to trust in God's provision while I am living every day life in Mooresville.  I am ready to learn that lesson again and put my faith in God.  Lucky for me, He is merciful enough to forgive me for my lack of trust and help me.  I can't wait to experience again the closeness I felt, the strong relationship I knew, and the unconditional love that can only come from a Savior.  And that makes me feel selfish.

I know God, and I have a relationship with Christ Jesus.  Some have never heard His name and are desperately seeking a Savior.  If I don't spread the good news of Christ then I would really be selfish.  If I didn't tell you about His amazing grace, if I didn't act on my desire to be a missionary, then I would be stealing salvation from others.  I am moved to act and I am ready.
When I visited Mwandi last summer, I dipped my toe into the world as a missionary.  I was excited to come home, but plagued by what I experienced and felt a need to serve with my whole life...not just 3 weeks a year.

This summer, as we prepare for a longer journey, I still feel like I am only stepping into the shallow end.  I'll keep my home, my worldly possessions all safe in America, while I give a little of my time to sharing the Gospel with others.

So today conviction fell upon me as I realized at church that I wasn't doing enough.  I feel disturbed by the suffering of others around the world.  Others, even close friends of mine have tried to talk me off the ledge in the past, saying that what I do is enough.  Look at Girls on the Run, The Christian Mission, Live 58, Kids Voyage...all these local missions you are helping, you know, deeds won't get you to heaven. 

For fleeting moments I can be convinced that my life in Mooresville is "good enough."  That my silly desire to give it all up is preposterous.  But those are words from humans...even good ones.  When I sit quietly and listen to God, I still hear His voice saying, "Do, Go, Move, Be."  It's not enough.  It's never enough.  Of course it isn't.  Thankfully, I don't have to be enough to get to heaven, but that shouldn't stop me from helping in every way that is possible.  And with God, nothing is impossible. 

With God, Nothing is Impossible.

Sympathy does not substitute for action. 

I cannot be a Christian without being a missionary.

Certainly anyone, anywhere can be a missionary.  You don't have to go to Africa.  I don't have to go to Africa.  I don't have to go to South America, or Asia, or Europe.  But God has placed a desire in me.  He says, "Do. Go. Move. Be."

Today at church, directly following communion, Forbes asked me, "When do you want to move?" He had also been convicted.  Now, that didn't necessarily have to mean move to a new place.  It could have meant to move into action.  But as we hashed it out this afternoon, we decided we are ready.  We've stepped into the pool, and now it is time to just dive right in.  We are ready to give it all up.  The house, the cars, the furniture, the savings account, the comfort, the security. 

We are crying out, "Lord, use us!"  While we are still planning to spend 6 weeks in Mwandi this summer, we are also looking for a long term missions call.  We are not perfect, we don't know everything.  I haven't even read the whole Bible.  But I trust in God.  That He will use us, show us, teach us and lead us.  He will provide and comfort us. 

So here is what we need: serious prayer!  Advice about where to begin our search for a call.  Support from our friends and family.  Motivation and perseverance and accountability so that we don't wake up tomorrow in the comfort of our own bed and decide this was all a mistake.  And of course I need you to buy my house so we can go! 

Ok, no big deal right?  Lord, help me please!  And Doug, this is all your fault.  I mean that in the best way possible. 

1 comment:

  1. I am so very excited for you both!!! And after this weekend's conference I do believe I have plenty of ideas of places to look!!!!!