Friday, April 23, 2010

...trying to figure out this blog thing

So once again I am considering the theme of this blog. Or maybe I am still considering it, as in I never figured it out before. I have been reading through my past blogs and trying to get a feel for what my focus is. As in the blog has its own personality, and I'm just trying to get to know it. I want this blog to be user-friendly. I want their to be a purpose. And I want my readers to have a reason to read it. Who is my audience, and why would they read my ramblings? So here I go...I'm going to re-title my blog once again and name its personality. I considered all things, what I wanted my readers to read, who I wanted my readers to be, what the focus should be. Well, while it is still a broad focus, it is generally about me, or more specifically my life. What is most important in my life: God, and then of course Alex. I want my readers to be my family and friends, not necessarily strangers. And I guess I want this blog to serve a purpose for them...that purpose will be to keep them up to date on what is going on in my life, or again, more specifically, mine and Alex's life. So that is it: its just a blog about what is new with us. You can read and find out what we are up to, what we are doing and where we are.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Falling in love with the clean-faced man!

So my husband recently went through quite a transformation. He has always had a long as I have known him. Once he shaved it about a year into our relationship. I wouldn't even kiss was as if I was cheating on my boyfriend with this new, clean-faced younger man.
And I did not like that clean-faced younger man. It was about 3 years ago, right before we moved to North Carolina. I gave him an ultimatum: when he met me in NC he better have a beard, or he may not have a girlfriend. Harsh. That is how strongly I felt about the beard.

Well, since New Year's he has been growing this beard into quite the conversation piece. At its longest, it measured close to 4 inches. It was a sight to behold and rarely did our friends discuss anything but the beard in our presence. After Easter he shaved it off...piece by piece. It was a torturous week. One bad beard-cut after another and the impending doom of a clean-faced man was before me. On day 4 of the process, all that was left was a mustache, and call me weird, but I like the mustache. On day 5 I flew to Missouri. Upon arrival, a text message awaited me with a clean-faced man staring through my phone screen. Shocked? Yes! Appalled? Surprising Not!

I returned home 3 days later and refused to look at Alex the whole way home, and pretty much the entire first night back. I didn't want to look at him and be faced with an unfamiliar person. At that moment I needed to be comforted and protected and I was scared of looking at Alex only to see a man I didn't know and whom I didn't trust to comfort and protect me. So I refused to look. The following day, he returned home from work...and as he walked in the door I glanced at this handsome clean-faced man and fell in love. He looked good! He looked young and fit and GOOD! He is excited I like this new gives him "options." I like this new look, and now I don't want him to have "options." Either way, it is good to know that I love him, no matter how he looks. I swear I am not superficial!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Everyday is Saturday!

Saturdays have always been my favorite days. Recently I have noticed that all my days are beginning to feel like Saturdays, however. In fact, Saturdays sometimes feel like more work than actual work now! I told Alex this week and select few that I feel like I am on permanent vacation these days. Why? Because I absolutely love my job. It doesn't feel like work. I am doing what I love every single day. I think I am beginning to upset people with this notion of permanent vacation. They cannot empathize...they do not understand. We tend to toil at our jobs until it drives us insane, and people just absolutely cannot stand people who do not have to toil. It is a fact. I am making people mad by enjoying my job. When others are complaining, I am praising! And when others are tired, I am ready to go! This isn't just about those who hate their jobs. Many love their jobs but can still find fault...even in my stressful moments, I absolutely enjoy my job. I enjoy solving problems and coming out ahead! I enjoy tackling the hard issues and coming up with a common ground or positive solution. My job rocks. And I apologize to all those out there who cannot say the same...but I will not stop saying it, MY JOB ROCKS! I don't mean to rub it in your faces, I just have to let you know, that for the first time in my life I am deliriously happy with my work. I am doing exactly what I was created to do. If you asked me a year ago what my dream job was: I would have explained exactly this...working for Girls on the Run in the exact capacity of what I am doing. It is my dream job. My life is amazing and it is because God is the center. He has given me everything that I need...provided me with the most amazing husband, the greatest friends, and a wonderful job. Praise Him!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Food is my drug of choice!

Food is my drug of is what I lean on when I'm sad, happy, anxious, depressed, excited...

It has taken me a while to realize this emotional connection to my food...and even longer to accept it. And now even longer to voice it.

I just read the blog post by WholeFoodsVeganMomma and there was a part of it, the Food as a drug part, that just dug right into my core. Luckily for me she gave a great tip to help overcome it: just replace that time with food with something else. It is simple and probably similar to any rehabilitation program. But I need to set up a system that will help pull me out of the addiction.

So anytime I eat for any reason other than hunger, I am using food as a stimulant. I get into eating habits. I have to have a snack before bed, a diet coke in the mid-morning, a 4:30 pick me up. I get excited to go to BBQ's because of all the food, or a Monday night football party. I arrive excited for the food...realize as a vegan there is only maybe one thing I can actually eat and then overeat that one item because it is the only thing I can have and I feel I deserve it. I find myself depressed if we go somewhere and they don't have food I can eat, and will end up very upset in many situations over this. Food is a drug to me. It is social, emotional and affects my personality and happiness levels. I feel guilty at the end of the day if I've eaten too much or the wrong foods, and in the morning I vow to do better. Each day this cycle repeats itself and is really starting to drive me up the wall!

It makes me nervous to post this. People will see into my head, this endless battle I have created for myself. They will think I'm truly crazy. But you know, just writing it down makes me feel like I can control this thing. That this thing doesn't have to control me. And maybe by writing it down, you can pray for me. And for peace!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

New Resources for you...

I watched a disturbing film last night which solidifies my growing fear of the food industry: Food, Inc.  Have you watched it?  What really scared me is that even by switching to a vegan diet, there are still so many issues with the food that we eat.  Take the soybean, I am not sure I can relay the issue with the soybean the way the documentary said it...but trust me there are problems.  I am also reading the book The China Study, I just started it, but already it is full of information that everyone should look into! Rather than give you a full synopsis which would not do either justice, I urge you to watch Food, Inc. and read The China Study.  Our country has a very interesting way of producing food that makes it seem as though it really isn't even food anymore! So I am trying out a CSA this summer to do my part to combat our food industry.  Check out The CSA I have chosen is in Huntersville, NC, Patriot's Rest Farm.  I did already go to the grocery store this this will definitely not be my challenge month, I am thinking in May once the Farmer's markets are in full swing.  I just really wish we had a larger market here in Mooresville.  Maybe if we all start visiting the farmer's markets instead of our grocery stores and eating less processed foods, our demand will result in a large farmer's markets with lots of variety.  Someday...