Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I got the blues

I have lost my mojo.  The days of healthy eating and living seem to be non-existent.  I am on a permanent sugar high and workout hiatus.  And I feel like junk.

I am living out the scripture: I do not understand what I do.  for what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do , I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  (Romans 7:14-20)

Did you catch all that?  Something about not doing what I want and wanting to do what I cannot and doing what I don't want to do, and not doing what I want. 

That's how I feel lately.  Running in circles between eating badly, not wanting to exercise, but knowing that eating healthy will make me feel better and exercising will also make me feel better.  Nonetheless, not choosing either option for my day.  In the past two weeks I have taken as many rest days as I have work-out days and even my workouts have been less than stellar.  I fear I will never workout again!

On the same note, all I seem to feed my body is sugar.  Suga, suga, suga, suga.  I crave sugar! Not only that, but I have lost all ability to eat intuitively and instead eat even when I'm not hungry and eat foods that will not satisfy. 

I need a health break.  A detox.  A new focus on a whole foods plant-based diet.  One that includes whole grains and fresh produce.  And little processed foods and sugar.  The food I put in my body will energize me, pushing me to perform better.  More energy will mean more motivation for running, lifting, cycling, zumba-ing!  And more focus at work. 

Cleaning up my life is no longer an idea, but a necessity.  I have been talking a lot about change around here lately, and now I need to make this change in my life to be the best I can be for God.  If I had a juicer I may try a full-on juice fast.  The idea of it makes me excited and energized just to consider.  Alas, no juicer, and the $5 price tag per juice at Earthfare (not to mention the drive) just will not do.

Does anyone have a juicer I can borrow?

No.  Well, then maybe following these guidelines will help.  It's time to get back on track. 

You know I have even been eating dairy lately.  Not a lot, but the occasional trip to TCBY is no longer just for sorbet.  There my secret is out.  And ever since, my stomach has been a mess and I have had pretty bad acne.  But I keep going back for more. 

Same with all forms of sugar.  I can tell my head is swimming and stomach is not feeling well, and yet I keep going back.  Each morning I tell myself I will do better.  After eating something high in sugar I remind myself how awful I feel and not to do it again.  And yet, I just keep going back. 

Remember my "Social Sweets Only" rule?  Well, if social means sitting in front of the tv by myself at night, then I have definitely been following it!  Oh, wait, it doesn't?  Well then I am way off! 

Ok, we get the point.  Like I said, time to get back on track.  Time to face the music and accept the new beginning.  Here goes nothing!

No comments:

Post a Comment