Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Body Post

Mornings are always great for me.  It is a fresh start on a new day.  I am full of energy and excitement for what the day may hold. 

Afternoons are quite a different story.  I typically get a bit moody and definitely lethargic.  I will wind up sitting on the couch for hours, having no desire for any productivity.  Yesterday I thought about blogging at this mind and thoughts are much different.  I didn't get around to blogging, probably because I was too busy being lazy, but I would truly be interested in how my writing voice would change with a different perspective on the day. 

In the afternoon is when doubts creep into my head about all of our life decisions...are we crazy for selling our house (with no equity), are we crazy for leaving our friends, are we just plain and simple crazy? 

In the morning, however, I am energized by these thoughts.  The idea of a fresh start, serving God, and relying solely on the Holy Spirit appeals to me.  These ideas don't frighten me, they rejuvenate me! 

So what's the deal?  Why this slump in the afternoon?  

I have some pretty good guesses...perhaps my not-so-desirable diet of sugar and wine!  Good thing I kicked that to the curb a few days ago.  I am on day 3 of my new way of eating and hoping it will liven things up a bit!

Perhaps my lack of physical activity is also killing my mood.  Have you noticed...two months and notta!  Are you wondering why?  Why is this former marathoner sitting around on her tush everyday?  For the record, if you did notice, I would never be offended if you asked.  That's a battle for another day...but I have learned some people do not ask personal questions for fear of offending someone, assuming they will tell the answer when they are ready.  Others, like me, enjoy being asked.  To me it means someone is taking an interest in who I am.  How about you?  Do you like being asked, or do you prefer to tell when you are ready?

I digress, back to the point.  Right around Thanksgiving I gave up on all formal exercise, opting for short walks a couple times a week for fresh air and to stretch my legs.  What brought on this sudden change...especially right after I wrote this post about my new workout plan?

DISCLAIMER: This post gets just slightly personal, read at your own risk...but for the record, I don't mind you reading since I am obviously writing it out on the blog!

Well the answer is: DOCTOR'S ORDERS.  I am not sick, not injured.  But simply trying to figure out what is wrong with me.  For two and a half years my body wasn't acting like a normal body should...full disclosure, I wasn't having a period.

We tried everything, from hormones to diets...but to no avail.  Finally it was suggested that I take some time off of running and other exercise to see how my body responds.  'Great timing,' I informed the doctor...'IT IS THE HOLIDAYS!'

We gave it a shot and I was weary of the plan.  I really didn't think it would work.  Low and behold, not one month later and my little gift arrived.  After a second month, there it was again, like clock-work.

Turns out, different bodies have different thresholds when it comes to exercise and diet.  I never slipped under a healthy weight, my body fat was always at a good level, yet I experienced amenorrhea. 

I am now at a point where I can begin to slowly add workouts back into my daily routine, and yet am finding myself not excited about it at all!  The idea of running frightens me.  What if I can only run a mile- or maybe not even that!  What if I can't keep up? Not only the concerns, but simply laziness.  I have fallen out of routine and I am now no longer anxious to get back in the game.  My usual tactics are not helping.  I have a 5k on the calendar in just over a month, and yet feel no desire to train.  I set up dates with friends, but then cancel.  Forbes encourages me and I sulk.  I need a swift kick to the rear I suppose. 

Jennifer wisely advised me to wait until the desire is truly there, however.  If I start back to soon, too hard, then I may wind up dreading it every day.  I trust that on the next sunny day I will feel the urge to get outside and hopefully that will jump start my legs, but for now, I am just a bump on a log, sitting on the couch in the middle of the afternoon. 

I share this, not for sympathy, but because there may be others experiencing the same thing.  I know that I was anxious to read anyone's blogs who discussed matters of this nature because I was eager to find a solution.  My solution didn't fit any of the other blogs that I had read.  In my mind it made absolutely no sense.  Perhaps this will help someone else make sense of their own body at some point.  If you have any questions, I am happy to answer.

Oh and for have to check out Ashley's Protein Breakfast "Bake"  It is delicious, and I have now had it for breakfast 2 mornings in a row.  Who knew vegan and gluten free could create such a light and fluffy cake!  Add 1/2 teaspoon of baking powder, like I did to make it even better!  My photo clearly doesn't do it justice.  I just wanted to show you how tall and fluffy it becomes when you add baking powder.  Enjoy!

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