Let's start with the good, and then we will get to the bad and ugly.
I actually worked out this week! Enough to tell y'all about it. Remember those days of weekly recaps and Sunday through Saturday were all scribbled in with various exercises that would raise my heart rate? Yeah, me neither...those days are long gone! But finally this week I have something to show:
Sunday: 3 mile run
Tuesday: 12 mile bike ride
Wednesday: 3 mile run/walk
Friday: 4 mile walk
Saturday: 3 mile walk
Yup, not nearly as impressive as my marathon days...but this is a start. Well we won't call it a start yet because I'm not sure I will be able to keep it up. But it was enjoyable to make it happen this week.
On the food front, things haven't been so pretty. The fast took a turn for the worse this weekend when every single one of my 7 foods elicited such a negative response that I completely quit eating. Shannon and I both agreed we would rather fast by not eating than choke down another 7 foods meal. I kept thinking that if I were hungry enough I would crave a sweet potato or an apple...right?
Finally near lunch time on Saturday I dove into Forbes' plate of onion rings. I stuck with just two. Trying to stay on my best behavior. During this time, I never even stopped to pray or give it up to God. I just jumped forward on my own two feet.
The day went downhill from there, and even this morning I cannot stomach any foods on my 7 list. It is a very odd food aversion. But I guess that comes from eating nothing but the same things for 2 weeks straight. Mad props to Jen Hatmaker who made it through the whole challenge.
At this moment, I am not sure where we go from here. Do I jump back on track. Try to make my way through the next 10 days? I'm not sure. But through this experience it has helped me to realize how I relate to food spiritually. Just in the situation yesterday, food all too often comes between my relationship with Christ. It became increasingly difficult to pray and talk to God yesterday while I was spiraling off of the fast. I realized in the last two weeks I have been closer to God and desiring more of Him every day. My prayer life has never been stronger and I would actually crave prayer several times a day.
Additionally, it is more evident than ever that I need His almighty grace and mercy in my life. I am able, only through him, to "fall off the wagon" (so to speak) and be able to pick up the pieces and be forgiven. I realized this morning that I learned so much through this process. I experienced His grace every moment and I feel mercy that I truly don't deserve.
I am thankful for everything I have. I am thankful for God in my life, my salvation through the sacrifice of Christ, and so thankful that the Holy Spirit dwells in me. I don't want food to come between this relationship, and even if I no longer fast, I want to be fed first by God, and nourished through food only second.