Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Ramblin' Rose

I am a Ramblin' Rose Blog Ambassador.  As evidenced by the beautiful logo to your right.  Earlier this summer I signed on to blog about my experience training and participating in the Ramblin' Rose Sprint Triathlon this summer in Charlotte.  I was so enthused I intended to sign up for at least two more of their events throughout the season.  This year I was determined, I would be a triathlete. 
Well summer came and went.  The event in July passed by.  Then August.  And today we are frightening close to September 22nd, my actual first triathlon ever.  As a "retired" distance athlete, it is easy to look at the mileage and scoff a little.  I think to myself, "I can phone that in." 

Swim: 250
Bike: 8 miles
Run: 2 miles

Individually I know I can complete those distances fairly well.  But combined, I have no idea what to expect.  Especially after a less than stellar training season and at least three weeks straight of no functional work outs. 

I have no idea what to do. 

I know that working out makes me a happier, healthier person.  This I understand from previous experience.  But I also know that I go through seasons in my life.  In my current situation, assigning workouts to my days creates extra stress and only serves to make me feel like a failure when I can't complete my assignment.  I have recognized this time in my life is not good for training and workout plans.  Trust me, I've tried. 

I check out the calendar.  Look at my impending races.  Then I am giddy as I schedule my workouts for the coming weeks.  I post my plan on the fridge, in my office, on my phone.  I set reminders.  And then I watch the days fall off the calendar as workouts are cancelled and work and home continues to take center stage. 

At the beginning of summer I decided I was just going to go for it.  I would make early morning workouts my thing.  I would wake up at 5am, head to the gym to catch a cycle class or run on the treadmill at 5:30 and be home ready to go for the day before the baby wakes up at 7am.  The plan was great in theory.  In reality, as a breastfeeding momma, it didn't work.  When I wake up in the morning my boobs are bigger than ever!  And I refuse to wake up at 5am to pump before heading to the gym.  As if waking up early wasn't torture enough.  So I scratched that idea from my mind and continued to fail miserably at squeezing in workouts.  Although honestly it's not that I don't have time.  I don't dare use that excuse.  Then I would have to chastise myself for the hours spent on Pinterest planning Eleanor's elaborate first birthday party.  No, I have the time.  I just don't have the desire.

I am sure that someday I will be interested in training and racing again.  This morning I tried to make one more valiant effort at starting a new fitness routine to get ready for the triathlon.  I woke up, dove right into my running clothes, waited for the baby to wake up, fed and changed her and dashed out to the car.  My plan was to head to the park for a comfortable 2 or 3 mile run and then play on the swings and playground for the morning.  I buckled her into her seat and turned around to grab the stroller and toss into the car.  But the stroller was nowhere to be found.  We have two.  Two jogging strollers.  And neither were in the garage.  I quickly dialed Alex and sure enough both strollers are in his car on its way to Statesville.  He offered to meet me half way but by this point I was over it.  I hauled baby back inside we continued with our normal morning routine.  Breakfast, bath and nap time. 

I am not sure that this is what Ramblin' Rose wanted when they signed me on as a blog ambassador.  I'm certain they wanted something a little more inspirational.  The "new mom who manages to fit it all in."  Honestly, that's the story I wanted when I signed on.  I wanted to impress you and make you see how totally awesome I am.  But I am sorry to disappoint.  I suppose I'm still awesome in my own least in my daughter's eyes.  But this is not me.  Not right now.  I don't know if I will still compete on race day.  I am still excited about the prospect of completing my first triathlon.  But I'm not sure that the glory will feel half as good if I knew I didn't train properly and put in the time and effort.  I think I would cross the finish line feeling a bit like a cheater.  Because I didn't work for it as hard as the other women...the real inspirations! 

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