The terrible downpour this morning led to a loooong 3 miles on the treadmill. By long, I actually mean quick…because I was dying to get off the machine. Not as quick as Tuesday’s run, however, I did run the last 1/2 mile at an 8 minute pace!
So when I am running sometimes, I begin writing my blog in my head. And here is what was going on in my head this morning: “Wow, this is great! I must be in the best shape of my life. Running is coming so much easier to me this year, than past training years. Of course, this is the first all vegan training season. I really think that my healthy, wholesome diet is to thank. I feel strong, I feel good, and I want to run! I’m positive and I don’t dread long weekend runs anymore! Certainly I fear them and sometimes lose sleep, but in an excitement, anxious way. Running is good this year! My positive self-image is returning slowly and surely to me as well. I am feeling good about myself. I am walking with my head up and wearing my cute clothes and feeling…well, cute! I am really working on not comparing my body to other women’s but being excited and proud of the body God gave me. Look how I move, look how I run, look how strong I am. That is where I am right now. Right now. Right now, on this treadmill, pushing an 8 minute mile (only for 4 minutes) out and huffing and puffing and feeling good. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still struggling. I have this eat, regret cycle I play in my head. Mornings are the hardest part. When I’m first waking up. Before I have gathered my senses, the devil attacks me with…can you believe you ate 3 1/2 pieces of pizza last night (vegan, whole grain and full of vegetables) and what about that Rita’s Italian Ice. Oh and I can’t believe you had a granola bar in the afternoon. Do you know how many calories are in that. The eat, regret, eat, regret, eat, regret. That is my life for the past 6 months. And I’m on the upswing. But it attacks. And I have to shake it off. I read my Operation Beautiful stickie note on my mirror and I pray to God. I thank him for this wonderfully, fearfully made body that allows me to run, play, live and have fun! And each day gets easier and easier. And that is where I am.”
Wow, how about that for a treadmill run!? Ok, so then I get off the treadmill, and I make the same mistake I make every time I actually go into the gym…I weigh myself. Partially to just make sure I am not over-eating with the new running schedule. But also to see if the new running schedule is causing me to lose any weight (insert crossed fingers here). So I step on, suck in a deep breath, and push on. And I wait, wait, wait…and then weight. Hmmm…not bad, not good. It is what it is. And this is what I do to myself…”That’s it. How can that be. But I feel so good. I’ve been wearing my “cute” clothes, and my skinny jeans and I’ve been strutting around…and that is all. Oh, what have I been thinking? Where do I get off being so confident and strong. Nothing has changed. Nothing is better. Why, oh why?”
Sick, right? Ugly, right? Disturbing, right? And I have stepped right back into the “girl box.” (My GOTR buddies know what that means, if you don’t check out Girls on the Run for more info on the “girl box”). So I prayed, God, do not let me slip back into the girl box. Do not let me forget who I am- a fearfully, wonderfully made child of God. Lord, lift me up. Remind me of how strong and beautiful I am. Remind me that I have health, happiness and a wonderful life. And my worth is not measured in pounds. Lord, I pray that I will not fall backwards, and today I step forward. I will not allow this to set me back. Father, thank you for the strength you give me to change, even when it is the most difficult thing in the world. Amen.
No Regret Pizza
Mr. Kummerow and I must make pizza once or twice a month to stay sane on a vegan diet. Here is this month’s creation.
No Regrets PizzaCourse: Recipe
1 whole grain Rustic Crust pizza crust
1 sweet potato
1 red onion
1/2 eggplant sliced thin
1/2 zucchini sliced thin
Veggie Shreds Mozzarella flavor
drizzle of olive oil
Spices and herbs of your choice
- Peel and dice sweet potato. Boil until soft and mash in a small bowl (or the pot). Spread sweet potato on 1/2 of pizza. Top with thin apple slices, sliced red onion and mozzarella cheese.
- On other 1/2, spread 2 tbsp tomato sauce, layer with eggplant, zucchini and onion slices. Top with mozzarella cheese and drizzle with olive oil. Sprinkle both sides with seasonings of your choice. (we used basil, oregano and red pepper and salt and pepper.)
- We have a pizza oven that we cook the pizza in for 15 minutes. You can use the oven at 350* for 15-20 minutes, until cheese is melted and veggies are warm.
This is a 1/2 and 1/2 pizza
Feel free to eat 1/2 the pizza– or the whole pizza all yourself! No regrets!
By the way…the sweet potato idea came to me in my sleep. Literally. The night before, I sat up in bed and told Mr. K I wanted to put sweet potatoes on my pizza. “Ok, “he said groggily…thus the sweet potato pizza is born!
And one more thing…my Vegan Overnight Oats turned out fabulous this morning! Finally!