I feel like this is the most momentous occasion in our lives, and yet it was over-shadowed in many ways by Eleanor's first birthday. We had great intentions of special plans, each of us trying to secure something of a date night. From quick dinners out, to elaborate overnight trips, we had great ideas. Alas, we scratched all plans and settled in with our family on our anniversary for a night of pizza and beer. And a champagne toast!
Our fifth year of marriage was an exciting one with so many firsts, thanks to Eleanor. On our last anniversary we were just brand new parents without a clue. We were elated and floating on happiness and sleep deprivation. And now, a year later, we are a little more rested, but still just as crazy happy. More so even! I had no idea how sweet it would be to have a child! But this post isn't about Eleanor. This one is about the guy behind the baby...
Alex has given me the two best things in the entire world: the gift of being a wife, and the gift of being a mom. While I will often mention that being a mom is the most wonderful role I have ever taken on, being a wife is so much sweeter, really.
It hasn't always been easy for me. I have learned so much about myself by being a wife. Something about the marriage relationship really pulls out the best, and the worst in a person. And Alex has certainly seen it all. But the wonderful thing about it, is when you are aware of your worst, you can begin to improve. Our knock-down-drag-out fights used to last days. Now it's just hours, and even just minutes on good days. We have learned so much about each other, our needs, our likes, our ways. I can read him like a book. And he can pick up on my moods before even I do. We know how to make each other happy. We know what each other needs. Best of all, when we can't figure it out...we know we can just ask each other.
Alex is absolutely my best friend. I couldn't do life without him. Apart from my sisters, I always wondered if anyone would ever be able to put up with me for a really.long.time. How he does it, I will never know. But each day he still tells me he loves me. And each day we are apart from each other, even just for a few hours, he misses me. He can't stand to be away from me. And even after five years of marriage and another year and a half more of dating, he still wants to hang out with me. Why am I so lucky?
Alex is the center of my world. Often times it looks like Eleanor is front and center, but Alex is truly the rock holding us all together. I am so eternally grateful for this amazing, loving marriage relationship that I have been blessed with.
I am reminded of a passage in Luke that says, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked," and I am a little unnerved. I know that I am blessed beyond measure, and I know that this blessing comes with huge responsibilities. Alex and I are always aware of that and I am certain that we are supposed to use all this good in our lives to create even more good in the world. It is a tall order, but I want the world to see the light in our lives and recognize where it comes from. I want my life to bring glory to God and lead others to faith in Christ Jesus.
In person I am not so great at this. I am easily intimidated and silenced. But one look into the joyful eyes of my precious baby girl, and a glance at this faithful and endearing husband, and I know that God is REAL, and he loves me unconditionally and eternally. And I really want to share that love with everyone I know. I hope someday to be worthy of all this love I have been given. I hope to somehow show others this incredible love like I receive from Alex, and Eleanor, and especially from God.
Life is a pretty awesome thing, and I am so grateful today that I get to share mine with Alex. Five years strong and many, many more to come! Thanks for being my husband Alex!
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