And on the other hand, I have realized lately just how much I relied on the blog to make my life feel significant. Once upon a time (not very long ago), life events didn't feel important unless I was able to share it here. A date wasn't as special, or an Eleanor Milestone not as awesome, until it was captured on this social media outlet.
I have to confess, I feel like I'm finally living my life in an authentic way. Without the need to document every moment, I am actually living in the moment more. It is refreshing. In the last several years there were times when I would only eat a certain thing, or participate in an activity just for the story it would tell. Now, I have learned to do things I like once again. And even eat the things I like (ahem...meat and dairy!)
I have been blogging for nearly four years now. These have been some of the most fun, adventurous and filled years of my life. And it is all captured right here. A way to always look back and cherish these years. I will always love that I have this time in my life documented.
You may see where this is going...my season as a blogger is coming to a close. The door hasn't shut just yet. There are still a few things I want to do here. But we are nearing an end and I can't even sit down to write here without acknowledging that first. Our time together is short.
As I move on with my life and away from Vegan Faith, I know I will always wish that I was still blogging. I will miss having the day-to-day memories recapped to review whenever. I will always keep a file of what is written here to look back on. This is like my scrapbook for the last 4 years.
I will also miss this community of people. And the outlet of writing for an audience. It kept me sane on many days. I will miss the comments. The fun and lively discussions this blog sparks. I will miss my identity as a writer.
But as our lives continue to move forward, I notice that the blog just isn't in the picture anymore. Writing is an afterthought and has become tedious. I always did this for pleasure, as a hobby. It was never a job and I never thought it would be. Now, it isn't fun anymore. I don't always think about updating the blog. And the time it takes is valuable time that I could be using for other hobbies and activities that bring me joy and pleasure. I no longer possess blogging as part of my identity.
So I have been thinking about this for a long time. For months I have known the end is near. And I always thought I would write that it was the end on my very last day. But as I sat down to write today I changed my mind. I don't know why I felt like I couldn't tell you it was the end until it was officially the end. It seemed like one of those typical blogger things you had to do. "Don't tell them it is over before it is over because then maybe they will quit you before you actually quit them." I don't know, that's how my mind works anyhow.
So here is what I've decided:
- First, well to tell you I'm quitting. I am putting in my notice so to speak.
- My final day will be December 2, 2013. Why this day? That was the exact day in 2009 that I began the blog and wrote my very first post. Since we are already so near, I thought it would be a nice round ending. I don't know if I will post on December 2, but after that day don't expect anymore posts.
- Eleanor's 11-month update (3 weeks late!)
- Eleanor's 12-month update (hopefully on time!)
- A recap of Eleanor's first birthday party
- Thoughts on being a mom after one year
- Alex and Tanya 5 Year Anniversary Celebration!
- What's next for the Kummerow's
- ...and maybe a few more posts in between
And, if you are just so sad, and will miss us too much to let go forever, I understand. I will miss you too. So be my friend on Facebook and let's not say good bye.