I have this problem. A memory problem, if you will. And I can't even blame it on pregnancy brain. My husband will forever laugh at me when I attempt to tell someone my age...
He just shakes his head.
"Am I turning 30 this year?"
For a year we had a sign on the fridge that exclaimed "Happy 27th Birthday" and yet I spent that whole year telling people I was 26.
So the truth is, I'm 28 years old. And I forget often enough that Alex just knows he has to keep track for me. Nowadays when I get asked, he typically just answers before I get a chance.
Well now my memory problem is playing around with my gestation age. Thirty weeks? Thirty-one? Despite my countdown, I still can't seem to keep it straight. This morning I was convinced that I was 32 weeks today. But we just celebrated 32 weeks last Friday.
I turned to my Baby Bump app and sure enough, today I am 33 weeks! Oh.My.Goodness! Seven to go! Where is the time going? Soon it will be October, and it will be my last full month without a baby. Without being a mom. How is that possible? If you would have asked me at this time last year if I thought this is where I would be I would have exclaimed ABSOLUTELY NOT! However, I couldn't be more excited and thrilled and ready to meet our baby girl.
Every day I fall more and more in love with her. When she wakes me up at 4am squirming, I grimace, but then I smile, thinking that this is real...she is real. This morning she was literally dancing in my tummy at 7:30am and I just laid in bed watching her movements through my belly. She is a little miracle and I am so anxious to meet her.
Last night I watched the National Geographic documentary "In The Womb." I almost started crying realizing what a true wonder life is. The happenstance that a baby can come out of all those complex systems is beyond amazing. It is nothing short of a miracle and I truly believe only God could create a life in such a remarkable way.
One amazing fact from the video is that only 50% of all conceptions result in birth. How can that be and yet I am lucky enough to carry this child, already to a point that we know her life can be sustained. We know that she can survive. I fell more and more in love with her knowing what a miracle her life is.
So 33 down...7 to go! I am trying so hard to focus on the "right now" instead of 7 weeks from now. I don't want to miss out on these moments with Alex when it is still just 2 instead of 3. I don't want to miss out on time with friends before life becomes crazy. In an effort to stay in the moment, I have created a quick bucket list for us this Fall. These are our must-dos before Eleanor arrives.