Happy Monday Morning to y'all!
I am coming down off one really terrible week. Physically I was feeling so great, but mentally it was a very challenging week. I was in a terrible funk that I just couldn't shake and it took a powerful message at church yesterday, and surrendering it all to God, to wake from that terrible mood.
Plus, there is nothing like a Monday morning laundry day to snap you out of a funk...right? Am I right? No, just me...ok, fair enough!
Seriously though, last week I questioned my happiness, my ability as a wife and mother, my sanity. And I know now that the only way to rise above those strong emotions and terrible lies is to trust in God. I questioned Him and doubted Him all last week, feeding into the persuasive nature of the devil. But through truth and prayer I can feel like myself again. It is so difficult. So much of me wanted to give into my pride, and walk away from church with as much anger and fear as I entered with. I knew I just couldn't do that though. It would hurt, but I had to use humility to bring me back to a fresh place. I never want to go back again.
I want to be a living example of what Christ can do in a life. I want to take my past and turn it around and be a new person. I want to lose my anger and my pride. I want to walk with Christ and surrender to Him. I want my emotions and feelings to represent a life lived for Jesus and I want my friends, my family, my husband and even my daughter to witness this. Change is humbling. When pride is your foe it is difficult to allow others to see change in your life. It shows them that the way your were and acted was wrong. Who wants to admit they were wrong? God calls us to humility. If Christ can humble himself to death on a cross, surely I can admit that that argument was my fault, that I have been careless with my words and nasty with my thoughts.
This morning I am still shaken by the terrible week that lays in the past. I am tempted by the emotions that want to bring me back. Despite the sun and fresh air, the darkness urges to suck me back in. But today I have a choice. I can choose to trust God, choose His side, choose lightness instead of dark and heaviness. It is a struggle to not become "unglued." But that is not the life I want to continue living. I choose light.