Seriously...this is not my game. I really always wanted to be one of those sweet little pregnant ladies who never tire of telling us how much they loved being pregnant (yes, Shannon, I'm talking about you!) But that ain't me. I am not dealing well. Most nights I just lay in bed crying for this to be over and I'll tell you why:
1. One word: nausea. Like seriously, is this necessary? Why must I be sick all day?
2. Ok, two words: Morning Sickness...because we all know that when they say "morning" what they really mean is all the time, or when you least expect it, or right after you have eaten your favorite meal, or while you are peacefully laying in bed asleep. Forget morning sickness, I could handle morning sickness. Whatever this is, I cannot handle.
3. Throw-up. Prior to the last 3 weeks of my life, I could have counted on my fingers and toes the number of times I have vomited. Now, I usually exceed that number on a daily occurrence .
4. Pure exhaustion. I would not be exaggerating to tell you that I lay in bed on average 6 hours a day, on top of the 10 hours of sleep I get every night. Doesn't sound so bad does it? Well it is. It sucks. I never want to get back in bed ever again. And yet, I cannot stand the thought of being out of bed.
5. Food. Ech! I used to love food, love to cook, love to eat. Now, I won't even open my fridge. All my food comes straight out of a box or from a restaurant. For some reason, I cannot even put the tator-tots in the oven myself...Alex has to do it.
6. Speaking of Alex...Irrational anger toward Alex. "You did this to me. You made me this way. You are terrible for making me so sick!"
7. I cannot make any plans. If I make a plan or schedule a meeting, it has a 90% chance of being cancelled. And if I show up, especially if I had to drive there, I will probably head straight to the bathroom to puke my guts out.
8. And I can't drive. The few times I have ventured to drive myself somewhere I usually wind up so sick I have turn around and go back home...or worse, speeding home so I don't lose my breakfast in the car and wind up with a ticket for 63 in a 45. Yup, true story. When I can schedule things around Alex, he'll drive and I ride in my makeshift bed in the backseat.
9. "Only 4 more weeks to go!" Really!? If I hear one more person tell me that I will feel better in my second trimester and I only have one more month to suffer they will probably get decked in the face. Have you ever been sick for 4 weeks straight? No? Oh, how about 4 weeks on top of the 3 you have already suffered through...ok, then shut up!
10. I truly love all the moms out there in the world. I do. I understand you are just trying to help. But when I admit I have been so so terribly sick and you want to share horror stories of your puking adventures from pregnancy, then don't be offended when I throw-up all over you. Seriously, do you want to hear about vomit when you are feeling nauseous?
Ok, dramatic, I know. But on occasion I have wished for my own death several times over the last 3 weeks. I don't want to offend anyone. I know there are lots of women who have struggled getting pregnant and would give anything for these symptoms. I can relate. We thought we might not have our own children either, so don't get upset with me. Just let me vent.