Thursday, October 21, 2010

Beach Retreat

Good morning!  I have quite a busy day today...starting with packing for the weekend trip that starts tonight.  Boy I am a procrastinator lately!  It may have something to do with my hesitancy about this trip.  When I signed up I was so excited.  Nearly in tears when I thought I wouldn't be able to go, and then definitely in tears when I realized I could.  This weekend is the Women of Worship beach retreat and I have been looking forward to going for years!  Every year I have something holding me back.  And this year, I finally had a free weekend!

Skip ahead when I picked up this babysitting job and realized it wasn't feasible to take off both Thursday and Friday and realized I therefore had to drive by myself on Thursday night (late) to the beach.  Enter my hesitancy.  I do not like to drive and now I would have to come up with extra gas money.

Skip ahead to our best friends deciding to visit NC this weekend to participate in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer and I really didn't want to go to the beach.  Skip even further ahead (last week) when they called and told us they were just engaged...and now my interest in going to the beach has completely waned.

Given, I should be able to see our friends on Sunday when I return, Haley will be walking the entire weekend in the race, and who really wants to hang out with Eric and Mr. Kummerow as they catch up and likely spend the entire weekend playing Madden?  Not this girl.  So I should be excited to "get away!"

Alas, I have decided to go regardless.  But it may take all of today, and maybe even waking up to a sunrise over the ocean to regain my interest in this retreat.  Despite my best efforts to sabotage this weekend for myself, I know that God has a better plan.  He is probably just sitting upstairs with his arms folded waiting for me to drop the act, drop the planning and the stressing and just relax and put it all in his hands.  That's how I picture him, patient, sincere, and trusting.  I know that this weekend is a must for me.  I have been so distracted lately.  I can't focus on any one task, and the task that is most at stake is my relationships with people.  I feel that I am always zoned out, thinking about work or the blog or about the kids, and I never really listen.  I am not doing any one task 100%, everything is getting about 60%, and my husband is probably only getting around 45%.  I don't feel present.  I don't feel committed.

This weekend for me will be all about finding balance and strengthening my relationship with Christ.  My passion has waned, and I feel lost.  And if I can just make it through today and the drive tonight, I am hoping that I will find some peace.

With that said, I will not be taking you with me on this journey.  I am officially unplugging.  I need some me time!

I do have a few guest posts lined up for you, and my wonderful husband (although he doesn't yet know it) will be helping me get those up for you.  So just because I'm gone, doesn't mean the blog is!  Also notice my new badge: I am a featured publisher for Foodbuzz!  Foodbuzz is a network of bloggers and foodies and I feel so privileged to be included in that network.

Ok, my official out-of-office sign is going up now.  Have a great weekend and keep me in your prayers for a weekend of peace and rejuvenation.

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