Mr. Kummerow left to take his dad to the airport...Julia is still in bed, as are the leftover people from the party last night, and I am sitting up, checking my email and reflecting on our trip thus far.
Yesterday's party was good. Mr. Kummerow and I played bartenders and I met gobs of family I never knew existed before. It was a difficult day for me, as there was food sitting out from 1pm to 1am! My willpower only lasts so long! I managed to keep busy behind the bar, refusing to eat the bar snacks (read more about those in the last entry!). I kept my palate wet with sparkling water. (I believe the caffeine from all the diet cokes and coffees was starting to get to me!) I snacked a little on hummus and veggies, fruit and chips. When it came time to sit down and eat I multiplied that on my plate with a roll and some olives. I did sneak a bite of Mr. Kummerow's cookie (not vegan) but for the most part by 7pm I had stuck to it. And I was feeling pretty good!
But the evening continued and my sweet tooth had been activated and there was still cake (not vegan). Lots and lots of cake. My resistance waned and I split a piece with Alex. Now I find once I have given in, it makes it even more difficult to resist. So I proceeded to eat a cookie, some more chips and even some bar snacks. Uggghhhh!
So I beat myself up over it and I went to bed with a full belly. And then I ran this morning. And I ran without any sense of where I was going or how long I was running. No watch, no mile markers. I just ran. This reminded me of my early runs in Concord living with the Piper's. No watch, no mile markers. Just me and my sneakers. And it felt good. I woke up punishing myself...saying "no breakfast" or "no snacks" today. And I returned from my run hungry and feeling good. I ate my breakfast and enjoyed it...knowing that I eat to live and not live to eat.
So I'm stressing about looking good, specifically in my dress for Diana's wedding next weekend...and I realized what I need to stress about is feeling good. So no more food restrictions in regard to the "amount of" but I am focusing on what is in my food. Specifically, how much caffeine is in the drink I am about to consume! So decaf coffee for me this morning. And sparkling water instead of diet coke!