Sunday, January 24, 2010

How to say no...

I've been wondering for a long time why so much time and energy is devoted to the art of saying "NO." There are books, magazine articles, seminars, etc. all on the topic of teaching one to say no. In the last several weeks, I have come to realize why all of these exist. I used to believe that if you just didn't want to do something it would be easy to decline. I realize now, that it isn't that we don't want to do it...I really want to be able to do everything that is asked of me...but at some level my sanity will suffer. Not to mention my relationship with God, marraige, friendships all suffer when I take on too many tasks. So the question of the day is: how to say no when all you really want to do is say yes. Today I am feeling overwhelmed with my many different projects. And I don't want any one project to suffer because I don't know how to prioritize. I felt so burdened this morning, I hardly managed to smile. Let alone carry on a polite conversation with any adults. Luckily, I got to spend the morning with children. It is easier to fake a smile when it is for a child! It is even easier to forget your troubles when you are surrounded by little ones who only have enough capacity to worry about which toy to play with first. As I left this morning, the realization that I didn't get to spend anytime with adults plagued me and I again felt sickened by the load that has been put on my shoulders. I'm starting to realize that it was probably God's plan for me not to have the opportunity to converse with anyone. My filter doesn't work as well when I am upset, unfortunately. But fortunately for me, God knows that and provides. I wonder if the art of saying no is like the "accesories rule of thumb?" Have you heard that...put everything one and then take one thing off and you are ready to go. This theory doesn't apply to me, as I rarely wear jewelry. But I used this line on a bride yesterday, and I am now curious how that might apply to my current state of affairs. Do I need to release one thing? Which one thing do I choose to say no to? Each thing is now entering my head and as it crosses my mind I keep thinking...but not that one...I want to do that one. So which one do I say no to? Which one can I back out of? Which one will cause the least amount of damage...on others...on myself...on my husband...? Any ideas?

1 comment:

  1. Find things you really enjoy doing, and do them the hard way. If you like bread, bake your own bread. This forces you to take time for yourself and offers enjoyment in the end. If you fill your time with things you really enjoy doing, that are really for you, and really claim that time, you won't have as much time to say yes, and even if you do still have all those things on your plate--at least you have time to process and plan!